Secrets and Lies
by BuffyAngellover
Summary: What if Angel had left during Surprise and came back five years later? (UPDATED and Revised 9-2-04) WIP
1. chapter 1

**Title: **Secrets and Lies

**Rating: **PG-13

**Summery: **What if Angel had left during Surprise and came back five years later?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of these characters. They all belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. If I owned them, Buffy and Angel would be together and there would be no curse.

**Authors Notes: **Angel left in surprise, so therefor Buffy and him haven't had sex, and anything else that happened after that scene, didn't except for the fact the Buffy and Riley are dating now. Also, there is no curse in this story. Sorry, I love Angelus but, unfortunately, I can't write him. ï

**Spoilers: **Up until the dock scene in Surprise.

**Feedback:** Yes please... Also, if you post this story on your website please ask me first. Use the same address as above.

Chapter 1 

Buffy stood in her room. Tonight was the night, she just knew it. Riley and her had been going out for three years now and tonight he was going to propose. He'd had this look in his eyes for the past couple of weeks. She knew that he wanted to ask her something but didn't have the courage to.

When she heard from Willow that he was planning on asking her hand in marriage, Buffy was ecstatic. Riley was a nice, normal, well-balanced guy. Someone who could take care of her, someone who already knew about her nightly job and didn't mind. He could even hold his own in a fight.

Yes, she was prepared to take his offer tonight. She really liked him and it wasn't like there was anyone else out there that she could be with, with her kind of life. _'Yes there is.' _Her mind told her.

"No, I'm not going there." She told herself. Tonight was about Riley not... Him. She smoothed out the wrinkles in her black dress and gave herself a once over to make sure she looked perfect.

"Buffy," her mother called. "Riley's here!"

Buffy looked at herself in the mirror and gave herself a sad smile. _'This is right' _she told herself_ 'Everyone likes him; you need to move on with your life. He's gone and he's never coming back.'_ With her pathetic little pep talk Buffy headed downstairs to face her future.

__

A tall dark man stepped out of the cargo section of a boat. He stopped, slowly looking around the dock. It had been five years. Five years since he stood here, five years since he'd seen her face, held her in his arms. He idly wondered if she had changed at all. If she would even recognize him.

From what he could see, Sunnydale hadn't changed a bit. And from what he could sense, it was still overrun with a variety of vampires and demons. He didn't care though. All that mattered was that every night his beautiful goddess entered his thoughts and tonight, he would be able to see her again. There would be no more dreams. Slowly he smiled. He had been waiting for this moment since the second she was out of his site.

Taking a deep unnecessary breath the man stepped off the dock and headed to Revello Drive.

__

Buffy and Riley sat in a booth in an expensive resturaunt. Buffy couldn't even imagine where Riley had gotten the money to come here. Sitting there, illuminated by candlelight, the two waited for their desert. Sipping her wine, Riley took her hand.

"Buffy, we've been together for almost three years now." Buffy set down her wine knowing what was coming next. "And in these three years I feel like we've really gotten to know one another. I feel like I've know you for my entire life."

Buffy gave him a weak smile. He really did know a lot about her, if you just minus the year and a half that she spent with Angel. "I feel the same way." She said.

Riley smiled. "I'm glad, because Buffy I love you with all my heart and if you'll let me," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a black box. He flipped it open and inside was an engagement ring. It was in the shape of a heart with a diamond shinning in the middle. Buffy gasped "I would like to make you mine. Buffy, will you marry me?"

Buffy smiled _'NO!' _her mind told her to shout. _'Don't do it! You don't love him, you love...'_ "Of course I'll marry you Riley. Was there ever any doubt that I wouldn't?" And with that Riley took the ring to slip it on her finger.

"Um Buffy? You're going to have to take that ring off to wear this one."

Buffy looked down at her hand. There sat her claddagh ring.

_'The hands represent friendship, the crown loyalty, and the heart... well you know. Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody. Like this.'_ Buffy breathed in sharply.

"Buffy, you ok honey?"

No, she couldn't take off the ring; if she did it meant that he was really gone. That she didn't love him anymore. She would be admitting to herself that he was never coming back.

"Buffy?"

Buffy snapped out of her thoughts to look at Riley. He was looking at her with the utmost concern. "Sorry," she said and painfully slid off the ring and placed it in her purse.

Riley smiled. As long as he'd know Buffy she had never taken off that ring. When he asked her why, she had told him that someone very dear to her had given it to her as a birthday present. She never saw that person again. Riley had to admit he was jealous of whoever had stolen Buffy's heart that much. When he had first met her she had been a shell of a person. It had taken him a long time to earn her trust and love, and he was not about to let it go.

He slipped the ring on her finger and slowly leaned in for a kiss. When they finally broke away from one another he gave her a mischevouse smile. "Maybe, you could come back to my place and we could... you know, celebrate."

Buffy looked down at her engagement ring. She hadn't slept with Riley yet. Truth was, she hadn't slept with anybody yet. Riley was her first and only boyfriend after... after He left. She had used the excuse that she didn't want to have sex until she was married, and Riley understood that.

His hand was on hers suddenly. "Hey, I'm not going to push you. If you want to wait, that's okay." He smiled.

Buffy looked at him. "I... I think it's best if we wait." She whispered.

"Of course." He sat back letting go of her hand, disappointment clearly etched on his face.

"Riley..." But she never got to finish because the waiter came with their desert and they spent the rest of their time together in silence.

__

"Do you want me to come in with you to tell your mom the news?" Riley asked, his hand snaked around her waist.

They were standing outside the front door to her house. It was a cold December night and the moon and stars were clouded over, leaving an eerie look all around. "Umm, no, I don't think that's a good idea." Riley's face fell. "She was complaining of feeling sick earlier and I'm sure she's already in bed." Buffy quickly recovered.

"Well, maybe I could stop by tomorrow and we could tell her together." Riley said giving her a quick kiss.

"Yeah, maybe." She smiled.

"I love you." He said into her mouth

Buffy broke off the kiss gently. "I better get inside. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah." He smiled

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He let go of her hand, and with that Buffy walked inside.

__

Going into her kitchen Buffy went in search of her mother. She knew she would still be up and waiting for her return. Finding her she gave her a quick kiss and headed upstairs to take a shower. She wasn't quite ready yet to tell her mom that she was engaged to be married.

Yes, her mother loved Riley, everyone seemed to love Riley. They all said that this relationship was good for her, that it was healthy. Buffy sighed. What was wrong with her? Just a couple of hours ago she was going on and on about how Riley was the perfect guy and she would be happy to marry him. What had happened?

Turning on the water she let the warmth stream over her, washing away her thoughts. She stayed like that until the water turned cold and then dried off and headed off to bed. Things would be clearer in the morning.

Upon entering her room, she froze. Something was off. She looked around her but saw nothing, everything was where it was supposed to be. Her gaze settled on a silver cross. Her eyes started to grow wide with realization. Her spine was tingling and her heart was beating fast. This only ever meant one thing. He was around.

But that couldn't be! He was gone in some remote part of the earth trying to save the world by hiding a box. He may even be dead for all she knew. But still, she couldn't shake that feeling she got whenever he was around.

"This is ridiculous!" she said "You're just worked up over tonight. You're thinking about him way to much today, that's all." Climbing into her covers Buffy drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

__

Angel knew it was late but he had to see her. He didn't think she would mind either if he showed up. Walking towards her house he saw that the lights were already out for the night. Knowing that he couldn't wait until tomorrow though he went to the tree by her window and climbed up it, just like he used to do.

Her window was open, it was always open. Climbing into the room he was assaulted of memories past. Him sneaking into her room to watch her sleep, or for late night make-our sessions. He couldn't help but smile. Before he left they had been on the verge of something big. She had accepted him for what he truly was, and he had started to feel happy for the first time in decades.

He looked around her room. It hadn't changed much since the last time he'd been here. The pictures on her desk of her and her friends had changed, but she still had the same furniture and posters on the wall. It was then that his eyes fell across the bed and he saw her.

Her hair was wet from a recent shower and her mouth was slack with sleep. Soft snoring sounds reached his ears and he couldn't help but smile bigger. Her hair was still blonde, a little longer though, and she was still as beautiful as ever.

He had waited for this moment for years, but now that he was here, he didn't know what to do. It was like time was standing still, and he couldn't move to wake her. He didn't have to though because slowly her eyes fluttered open.

__

Still drowsy with sleep, Buffy's eyes searched the room. The feeling was in full force right now. There was no way she could ignore this. Waking up more, she sat up and started wildly looking around the room. Her eyes finally lay rest on him.

His tall broad frame was silhouetted by the moonlight from the window. Her breath caught in her throat. _'This has to be a dream' _she thought. He stood there looking at her, drinking her in.

Slowly Buffy crawled out of her bed and took a few deep breaths. She carefully moved towards him, her eyes locked with his the whole time. Her breath now coming in short gasps, she reached him. At this point in her dreams, he would disappear. They always came so close to touching but she always woke up before they could.

Before Buffy knew what was happening, his hand made contact with her face. "Angel." She rasped. He smiled at her and gently began rubbing his thumb across her cheek. Her eyes closed, this wasn't a dream. He was really right here in her room, touching her, smiling. His hands were just the way she remembered. Icy cold, but so comforting at the same time, and all Buffy could do was stand there.

"God, it's really you isn't it?" she heard him say. She opened her eyes and looked at him sadly.

"It's me." She whispered. She was trying so hard to will the tears that were threatening to spill over to go away. No matter what she did though, her tears escaped. _'No,'_ she _thought 'God, why does he have to come back now? What am I going to do, what am I going to tell him?'_ Angel's arms circled around her waist, his hands rubbing up and down her back to calm her sobs. Slowly Buffy leaned into his embrace. "I missed you so much." She cried against his chest.

"I missed you too." He said, his grip tightening around her even more. Buffy raised her head from his chest and their lips met in a sweet kiss. She knew it was wrong, she was technically engaged, but she loved him so much. She just couldn't help it.

Reluctantly the kiss broke. Buffy sat there trying to catch her breath, her eyes still closed. Angel looked at her and couldn't believe that he ever left her. She was everything to him. She once again leaned into his chest sighing. Angel was fine with this. As far as he was concerned, he was never going to let her go again.


	2. chapter 2

Chapter 2 

Waking up, all Buffy could think about was how good the dream was that she had last night. It was exactly the kind of reunion she wanted if Angel ever were to come back. Somehow, when she fell asleep, she knew that he would be entering her dreams that night. She had thought about him all day long, it was only inevitable to think of him at night too. Her engagement to Riley had upset her for some reason. Maybe it was the fact that she finally had to admit that Angel was gone that upset her so much.

A small smile played on her face. She felt so relaxed, so comfortable after last night's dream. Sighing loudly, she snuggled deeper into a pair of arms.

Her eyes snapped opened. Turning her head slightly she saw Angel. He was still asleep, his arms wrapped around her body tightly.

The memories came back then. Last night, after they kissed, they went over and lay down on her bed. Neither one of them releasing the contact they had between the two of them. Looking into each other's eyes, they held hands and talked until they fell asleep. Buffy remember right before they did fall into a blissful slumber, she had curled up against his chest and he had put his arms around her to pull her closer to him.

'_Oh, God! What am I doing? I can't do this. I'm engaged!_' Angel then sighed in his sleep and his head snuggled deeper into the crook of her neck. Buffy couldn't help but smile. This was how life was supposed to be. Waking up Sunday mornings lying in the arms of the man you love.

Angel started to stir. Buffy hoped that he would stay asleep, that this moment could keep on happening. She didn't want to face the day just yet. But, to her disappointment, Angel's eyes slid open.

"Morning." He said

"Morning." Buffy said back. Her lips instinctively went to his for a kiss.

"Mmmmm, I missed this." He murmured.

Buffy laughed, "We never had this."

"I still missed it." He smiled

"You're making no sense."

He just buried himself under the covers more, taking her with him. "That's ok."

Buffy couldn't help the giggle that rose in her thought. "I'll never get you."

Angel looked into her eyes and brushed a small strand of hair from her face. "Can we stay like this forever?"

"Forever huh? Don't you think we'll get bored?"

"No."

The two of them sat there for a long time, just staring into each other's eyes and trading small kisses with one another. But they were brought out of their dream by the phone ringing.

Buffy groaned. "I'm going to kill whoever is calling me right now." She mumbled. "Hello."

"Buffy? Hey, sorry to wake you so early but... did I interrupt something?" her friend said at the sound of the irritated voice.

"No Willow, what's going on?" She said with a bit of a sigh.

"I'm at Giles' house right now. We need you over here, there's some sort of new demon in town that we think you should know about."

"K. When do I need to be there?"

"Now would be good."

Buffy rubbed her temple. "Right now?"

"Yeah... oh, is Riley there? O my God! Did he propose? Are you two in the middle of...?"

"Willow no!"

"Oh good. Is it good? I mean, I know you were looking forward to him proposing and that you thought last nigh was going to be the night that..."

"No, Willow, he did."

"He proposed?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, Buffy I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks Will."

"But you don't sound too happy." She stated

"I'm just a little tired."

"Oh, well, if you need to talk..."

"I know. Look, I'll be over at Giles in like an hour."

"Ok, did you need me to call Riley or did you want to?"

"No, umm, I think that we shouldn't call."

"Why?"

"I'll explain later." And before Willow could say anything else, Buffy hung up the phone.

"Is something wrong?" Angel asked. He had been looking at her all through out the conversation and she hadn't seemed too happy. She looked like she was trying to hide something from him.

"No, well... maybe. I don't know. That was Willow. It looks like there's a new demon in town that could be causing some trouble. I need to go over there and see what's going on." She said moving over to her closet.

"I'll go with you."

"If you want to turn into a crispy critter, be my guest." She sighed "I'm sorry." She said moving back over to his arms. "Believe me, I don't want to leave you anymore than you do but this could be important and it's full sun outside." She got up and went to her closet again. Picking out her clothes she discreetly dressed behind her closet door.

When she emerged, Angel was still sitting on the bed. "Sleep," she told him with a kiss to his brow. "I'll be back as soon as I can." And with that, she left the room heading towards Giles' house.


	3. chapter 3

Chapter 3 

"Ok, I'm here. What's the sitch?" Buffy announced, walking into Giles living room. The whole gang was there, except Riley.

"Reine demon. It appears to be human and is extremely powerful." Giles said walking out of the kitchen. He handed a book over to Buffy, pointing to a picture of a gruesome looking thing. "That is its' appearance when he's in demon form. The problem is, they don't turn into their demon form in-less they are dying or extremely week."

"So basically, this demon can be anyone, anywhere in Sunnydale." Xander said.

"How do you know it's in Sunnydale?" Buffy asked

Willow handed over a newspaper with headlines reading,

'**Two Gang members attacked by the Unidentified.'**

"These kids were attacked last night near the ice cream shop. One is in critical condition and the other is in a coma. The doctors say that it's very unlikely that he'll ever wake up. The kid in critical says that they're not sure what attacked them. It looked human but was really strong."

"So," Xander said, picking up where Willow stopped. "They filled this thing full of lead and when it turned into a gooey mess... well, it's safe to say that they're lucky, very lucky."

"And we're sure that this is a Reine demon?"

"Positive." Giles said. "Tara and Willow went to the site this morning and found traces of Reine slime."

"We also did a spell tha-that proved it was a R-Reine demon." Tara managed.

Buffy sighed, flopping down on a chair. Just what she needed right now. There was already the problem with Angel suddenly showing back up and now this demon. Not to mention her changing feelings towards Riley and their relationship. "Why is it here?"

"That, we're no sure of." Giles said, he took of his glasses to clean them. A sure sign that this was very bad.

"I think it wants something." Anya piped up. "Reine demons are always after something, and they always get it."

"But what they want, we don't know." Buffy concluded. "This should be fun. So it looks like its research from here on out?"

"I'm afraid so." Giles said, handing her another book to start looking through.

__

It was around five o-clock when Buffy finally reached home. She made it a point that she had to be home before sunset, giving Giles the excuse that her mother needed her help with some things around the house. Truth was, she didn't want Angel to come over to Giles when the sun set looking for her. That would definitely raise some questions between her friends.

Opening the door she realized her mom was still at the art gallery. Knowing that she had a big show coming up, she wouldn't be home for awhile. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the answer machine flashing. Walking over she hit the button to hear the message, and Riley's voice filled the room.

"Hey honey. Call me when you get home. I wanted to know what time would be good to come over tonight. Love you."

Oh, god. She had forgotten that Riley was supposed to come over tonight and tell her mother that they were engaged. Praying slightly to herself, she hoped that Angel hadn't overheard that play today, while she pressed speed dial.

"Hello."

"It's me." Buffy said to the sound of Riley's voice.

"Hey, where have you been all day?"

"Umm," she said mentally kicking herself "shopping."

"Shopping huh? Did you get anything good?"

"No."

"You went shopping but you didn't buy anything?" He questioned

"Yes... I mean no... I mean... I was um, window shopping." She cringed

"Oh, sounds like fun."

"It was!" She breathed a sigh of relief that he bought her story

"So, what time should I come over tonight?"

"I meant to call you about that. You can't tonight. I'm... Mom is working late at the gallery. They're having a big opening soon."

"Oh, well, I could just come over and spend time with you."

"No! I mean, I don't think that's wise. Mom is cranky when she gets home so I was going to clean things up a bit for her and umm... maybe have kinda a mother daughter night with her."

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you a little later then?"

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"Same here." She said quickly. "Bye." And she hung up the phone. This was getting ridiculous. Why was she acting this way to Riley?

She turned and started heading upstairs. Why did Riley have to be so perfect? Everybody liked him, everybody told her how he was 'such a great guy' and he was definitely 'boyfriend material'. What if she didn't want a great guy though? What if she didn't want the white picket fence and the 2.5 kids running in the back? Everyone seemed to think that Riley was her ticket to a normal life, that he was the best that was going to come along. So if he was so great, why was she having so many doubts about committing to him?

Opening her door the answer to all her questioned appeared. There Angel lay on her bed, his head resting on his arm, asleep. Buffy silently approached him taking away the book that lay before him. She sat down at the edge of the bed and ran her fingers through his hair. Really looking at him for the first time she saw how tired he looked. There were circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, and she could just make out a hint of a fading bruise around his left eye. Leaning down, Buffy kissed his brow, causing him to wake.

"Hi," she said softly

"Mmm, I must have fallen asleep."

"Looks like it." She smiled "You must have been tired."

"I didn't get a whole lot of sleep while I was gone. Always making sure that the box wasn't stolen didn't give me a lot of time to catch up on my z's. What time is it?" he yawned, getting up he started to stretch.

"About five."

He looked at her. "Five? What's going on?" He asked seriously. If Buffy had been at Giles for ten hours, it was definitely serious.

She sat down on the bed. "The demon I was telling you about this morning is a Reine demon. Apparently it attacked two kids last night. Anya says it wants something but we don't know what yet."

"It wants something alright. A Reine demon doesn't attack unless it benefits them." He said sitting down by her side. "I'm guessing you've been researching all day?"

"Yes, and my head is killing me." She complained

Moving around so he sat directly behind her, he pulled her to his chest. "Here, let me help." He said. Taking his hands, his fingers gently started to massage her temple. Almost instantly Buffy felt her headache beginning to fade.

"Mmmm," she groaned. "You need to always be around after research." He smiled at that.

"I'll take you up on that offer."


	4. chapter 4

Chapter 4 

"Willow, I need to talk to you." Buffy said storming into her best friend's apartment room.

"Sure Buff, what going on?"

"He's back."

Willow froze. "Wh-who?"

"Angel."

"Oh my God." Willow's hand rose to her mouth. This was definitely not good. She had just gotten engaged to Riley and all of the sudden Angel shows up. After five years for that matter.

"Will, I don't know what to do!" she cried. "I was all prepared to marry Riley and I even got engaged to him! Riley's so sweet and nice. I would be crazy not to marry him! But then... then he showed back up and we kissed... God Will!"

"Buffy," Willow sat down next to her friend. "I like Angel; you know that I always have. But... I don't think that he... I think you should marry Riley."

Buffy's head shot up. She couldn't believe this. Willow was her best friend in the whole world and she was telling her to marry Riley!

"Angel would do anything for you. He would die for you if he had to. But, he's a vampire Buffy. Things between you two could get complicated. How are you going to act when you grow old and when he stays the same? Or when the issue of having kids comes up?" Willow sighed. "For the longest time, I wished that Angel would come back all of the sudden. You two just looked so in love, you were always so happy when you were with him. I know a part of you died when he left. I just don't want to see that happen again."

"It's just..." Buffy started "When we kissed, I- I felt like I was home again. I haven't felt that way in so long. My brain tells me that I should go to Riley, that that's the smart decision. But my heart... my soul, tells me that I belong with Angel."

Willow put a supportive hand on Buffy's shoulder. "You have to do what you think is right. Whoever it is, I'm behind you."

"Thanks Will."

__

"Mom I'm home!" Buffy called. She was relieved that Angel earlier that morning had left to go live at his old apartment again. She would have a hard time explaining to her mother that her 'tutor' had all the sudden come back and she was having mixed feelings about him and her fiancé'.

"In the kitchen!" her mother called. Buffy took of her coat and hung it on the rack. She just didn't know what to do. She knew Willow wouldn't tell anyone what was going on until she figured things out but...

"Buffy," before Buffy could finish her thought Riley came up and gave her a suave kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Oh, I was walking by and thought I'd visit you. I was thinking we could tell your mother about us tonight." He whispered.

"Sure." She replied shakily. "Umm, mom, could you come in her for a second." Better now then later.

From the kitchen walked Joyce Summers. "Mom, Riley and I would like to tell you something."

Joyce smiled at her daughter. She was pretty sure she knew what was coming. She had heard Buffy and Willow talk about it a couple times over the past couple of weeks. "Yes, what is it?" Joyce asked, sitting down in an overstuffed chair in the living room.

Buffy and Riley, following her lead, sat down on the sofa right across from her. There hands entangled in one another's. "Mom, Riley and I, well... we're engaged to be married." Buffy said, with a fake grin on her face.

"Oh my God! That's wonderful." Joyce immediately went over to hug her daughter and her new son in law. "Welcome to the family." She said to Riley. Beaming she looked at the two of them. "I'm so happy for you two. Riley, you will be so good for Buffy; she's seemed so out of place lately and... I know that you're exactly what she needs."

"I just want you to know, that I love your daughter, and I will never let anything ever happen to her." Riley said. Joyce, misty eyed and all gave Riley another big hug.

"I'm sure you won't." Dabbing her apron at her eyes she turned to Buffy. "I'm so happy for you pumpkin."

"Thanks mom."

Sighing Joyce looked at her daughter. Something was wrong. This should be one of the happiest moments of her life. Someone who didn't know Buffy as well as she did would think she was happy. Her smile was wide and bright, but her eyes, they were filled with sorrow. "Well, I better call the rest of the family. You'll stay for dinner won't you Riley?"

"Of course Ms. Summers."

"Oh, call me Joyce now. I mean, after all, you are part of the family." And with that she walked away.

Riley looked down at Buffy and squeezed her hand. "The worst is over." He whispered to her.

"No, it's not." Buffy mumbled to herself before heading into the kitchen after her mother.

__

Knock, Knock, Knock.

"Hold on!" It was almost dawn and Angel was just getting ready to go to bed when he heard the knock at the door. Not that he really minded. He wasn't surprised at who it was when he opened the door. She was really the only one who knew where he lived, or who even visited him for that matter. What he didn't expect to see though was her looking up at him, tears running down her cheeks.

"Buffy, what wrong?" he asked, motioning her too come in. Shutting the door behind them, he turned to see what had happened praying to god that she wasn't hurt. He was greeted though with her lips on his. The kiss was filled with passion and sorrow and it didn't end until they were both breathless.

"Buffy, what..."

"Don't." she said forcefully, cupping his cheek in her palm at the same time. "Just kiss me." She whispered to him.

And so he did. Both of them fumbling towards the inevitable.


	5. chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Buffy woke to the sound of rain hitting the roof outside. There she lay, wrapped in the arms of the man she loved, both comfortably entangled in each other. Their cloths lay strewed over the floor, and the comforter tucked under their chins.

Buffy opened her eyes to look at her lover. A small smile played on his lips, and his head rested on top of hers. Thinking back to last night Buffy couldn't help but smile. He was so gentle, he made sure to take things slow, giving her ever opportunity for her to tell him to stop. Afterwards, as they lay in exhaustion he leaned over to her, looked into her eyes, and told her he loved her. In that moment, Buffy knew. She could never be with Riley, Angel was the only person she could ever love.

Angel's eyes slowly fluttered open. Seeing her face he smiled. "Hey," he said, reaching out to caress her cheek. "You okay?"

Buffy smiled, "Never better." Leaning in she kissed him softly.

When the kiss ended Angel looked at her seriously. "I'll never leave you again. I promise. I love you."

Buffy's grin grew bigger. "I love you." She whispered into his ear. "And I know that you'll never leave me. I know." She laid her head on his chest. There was no sound of a heart beat to greet her ears, but somehow that didn't bother her. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with this man. They would inevitably face problems along the way, but everyone did at some point in their lives together. And as long as they were honest with each other, and trusted each other, things would be okay. "Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"I have to tell you something. But I don't think your going to like it."

Angel slowly sat up. "You can tell me anything."

"I... when you were gone I..." She was trying desperately to force the words out of her mouth. He needed to know what was going on. He needed to know that they had technically had an affair last night. But she couldn't do it. The idea of how upset he was going to be when she told him that there was another man in her life was enough to send her into hysterics.

Angel tried to calm her as he saw the tears sliding down her face. "You can tell me Buffy. It's okay." More tears started to fall now. Angel looked at her with the utmost concern. Buffy rarely ever showed her emotion to people. For some reason she thought that she always had to be strong for others, forcing herself not to break down when things got rough. That's why Angel knew that something was wrong. To have her break down and weep in his arms was scaring him more then she would ever know.

Slowly he pulled her into his strong embrace and she broke. "Shh... hey, it's okay, it's okay. Look," he said pulling her away enough to look into her eyes. "You don't have to tell me now. Whatever it is, it can wait." Moving in, he kissed her soundly.

Finally calming, they spent the rest of the morning making love. Not worrying about what was to come, just taking comfort in one another.

__

Buffy didn't leave Angel's apartment until late. She wanted to tell him so badly about Riley. They couldn't be together without him knowing that she was engaged. That for the last three years someone else had been kissing her and touching her. If she didn't tell him and he found out some other way he would be crushed, and she just couldn't do that to him.

It killed her to do this. Riley was so nice and deserved the best, but she couldn't be with him. Her heart belonged to Angel, and if she was true to herself she would realize, her heart always did belong to him. Never to Riley, and it never would.

Upon reaching her house she found Riley there. He sat on her porch swing idly rocking back and forth. Willow was right, when Angel left, a little piece of her did died, although she didn't even know it at the time. But now that he was back, things felt right, like the way they were supposed to be, the way she always imagined it to be. She had to break things off with Riley now. If she put it off any longer, she wouldn't be able to go through with it.

"Hey," he said getting up to greet her. "Where've you been?" his arms slowly looped around he waist.

"Around," She said, her body was tense. Telling Riley that she didn't really love him was going to be the hardest thing in the world. He had never once done a thing to deserve this, and now she was about to break his heart just because he wasn't another man.

"I missed you today." He said smiling. "I was thinking, tomorrow, why don't I take the day off work and we can go to the beach. We can have a picnic and watch the sunset. It'll be perfect." Buffy smiled wanly, why did he have to make this so much harder? "Buffy? Is something wrong?"

"Uh, no. I'm just a little tired that's all. Umm, the beach sounds good tomorrow. Pick me up around eleven?" She couldn't believe she just said that! What was she doing? She was supposed to be breaking things off with him, not going on dates!

"Eleven sound perfect." Riley leaned down and swept her mouth up with a passionate kiss. "I'll see you then."

"Yeah, see ya." Buffy said walking into the house. She didn't even bother saying hello to her mother. She just headed straight upstairs to bed. After what happened today, she should have been exhausted, but she lay there into all hours of the night.

What was she going to do? She had the perfect chance to tell Riley that it was over and she blew it! Now she was going to the beach with him where kissing and groping would be inevitable. Buffy buried her head into her pillow. No matter what, she had to break it off with him tomorrow. No matter what.


	6. chapter 6

Chapter 6

Slowly Buffy trudged upstairs. She had just spent the whole day at the beach with Riley and she actually enjoyed herself. Every time she was going to tell him that she couldn't go through with the wedding he did something so sweet that she just couldn't break his heart. If she didn't do this though, she couldn't have a life with Angel, and that, more then anything, was what she wanted to do.

She hadn't spoken to Angel since the night they made love. She didn't know how too. She felt so guilty about keeping this secret from him. Angel would have never have even touched her if he had known about Riley. Hell, he wouldn't have touched her if there was even the slightest hint of a man in her life. If only she had listened to her conscience that night at the restaurant, if she had, she probably wouldn't be engaged to Riley right now. She just wished there was a way to do this that wouldn't hurt anyone but still allowed her to be with Angel.

Sitting down heavily on her bed she put her head in her hands on the verge of tears.

"Hey," a soft voice came from her window.

Buffy raised her head up and found Angel sitting on her window sill. Memories came rushing back at the sight of him there. He used to sneak into her room all the time. Those were the days when things were less complicated. She remembered how he'd sneak into her room in the middle of the night just so he could see her face before he went to bed. He told her that it kept the nightmares at bay. She loved how he would just sit and hold her hand all throughout the night if she had had a bad day, or feeling the threat of getting caught in one of their heated make out session when her mother was only a room away from them. How she wished she could go back to those days, the days of innocence.

"Hey," she answered finally.

He came the rest of the way into the room and sat at the edge of her bed next to her. "What have you been doing?"

"Nothing," she said, abruptly getting up from where she sat. She started pacing the room, the whole time Angel's eyes were following her.

"You okay?" he asked

"Fine, I'm just fine."

"You don't sound fine."

She stopped her pacing and spun around. Throwing her arms up into the air she started yelling, "Really, then how do I sound?" Angel just starred at her. "Come on Angel, tell me. Because I would really like to know what _I'm_ feeling. I mean, everyone knows that _I'm_ not capable of knowing how _I_ feel, _I_ have to have someone else tell me what to say and do! Who to date, who to marry, how I'm supposed to feel, those decisions aren't left up to me because we all know that poor little Buffy can't do that on her own!"

Angel nodded once and got up to leave.

It took a few seconds before Buffy realized what a bitch she had just been. For no reason she had lashed out on Angel. He had nothing to do with any of this. Well... he did, but it wasn't his fault that she was having this emotional turmoil between the man she loved and the man she was supposed to marry. Buffy sighed and shook her head, quickly she ran over to him and grabbed his arm, preventing him from leaving. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little upset right now. It's not you."

He looked at her, concern etched all over her features. "Then what is it? I haven't seen or heard from you since...."

"I know, I just... I'm confused right now. Not about that night though." She added quickly "I love you. You know that."

"I love you too. That's why I'm worried. Buffy, what's going on?"

"I told you, I'm just upset right now."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, his hands roaming over her shoulders.

"No, I just want you." She looked up at him with all her pain and confusion.

Slowly, Angel bent down, his lips locking with hers. There tongues dueling in an endless battle, while their hands roamed the others bodies, removing clothing, just trying desperately to be near one another. Buffy clung to him not wanting to let go. She hated being so confused, but when she was in his arms, everything was right. The way he touched her, the way he made her feel, she couldn't understand how she had spent five years without him.

Grabbing her by the hips Angel led her to the bed, determined to help her forget what ever she was feeling.

Buffy woke up once again, wrapped in Angel's arms. _ 'I could get used to this.' _She thought happily. Last night was spent kissing, both giving in once again to their passion. Looking over at her clock the time told her it was 5:30. They had slept the whole day away and the sun had already set on them.

The phone next to her started ringing. Quickly she reached across Angel and snatched it off the hook.

"Hello." She whispered

"Morning sweetheart."

"Riley?" _'Oh shit!'_ her mind screamed. _'Not Riley, anyone but Riley.'_

"Of course it's me silly, who else? Listen, I'm about a block away from your house. I figured I'd stop by and we can go do something."

"NO!" Buffy yelled causing Angel to stir. "You can't do that." She added more quietly

"Why not?" Riley asked offended.

"Because, I um..."

"Buffy? Who are you talking to?" Angel mumbled, whipping sleep from his eyes.

"Who is that?" Riley shot back on the other end of the phone.

"No one." She said to both men.

"Well, it must be someone, I heard a voice." Riley was starting to get mad. Buffy had been acting really weird lately and now he calls her to find out the she has someone who sounded an awful lot like a male there with her!

"It's nothing." She said, trying to calm Riley down. Angel was looking at her with confusion. _'Who was she talking too?'_

"No one, huh?" Riley asked, entering her bedroom, clicking off his phone.


	7. chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

'_Oh God no!_' Buffy's mind screamed, but all she could do was just sit and stare and Riley.

"Buffy, who is this?" Angel asked

"I'm her fiancée', who are you?" Riley demanded. Walking in on his girlfriend naked in bed with another man didn't do much for Riley's mood. He hadn't even slept with her yet and she was already cheating on him!

"Fiancée!" Angel looked towards Buffy. She still sat there unmoving. She didn't know what to do; she had been playing the two of them for weeks. "Buffy, what going on here?" Angel growled

"I... well you see..." she fell silent. What was she supposed to say to the two of them_? 'Well Angel this is my fiancée Riley and Riley this is the man that I truly love and who I have given my heart and soul too. Oh and I slept with him too.' _Yeah, that would work great.

"Buffy, you better explain just what the hell is going on here!" Riley shouted at her.

"Hey, don't yell at my girlfriend!" Angel yelled back

"Girlfriend! No I think your mistaken pal, she is not your girlfriend, she's mine."

"Really," Angel said, his half smile slipping into place. "Who's the one in bed with her right now?"

Riley glared. How dare this man say this to him. "I don't know, maybe she got drunk and went after the first thing that moved."

"HEY!" Buffy yelled. "_She_ is sitting right here!" Both men turned to her. "Listen, there is no way any talking is going to get done like this. Riley, go outside so Angel..."

"Oh, he has a name?"

Buffy ignored him "So Angel and I can get dressed. Then we can talk."

"No." Riley simply stated

"Excuse me?"

"No. I'm not leaving the two of you in here alone so you can have a quickie to calm your nerves." Riley said looking straight at Angel.

Angel growled, trying to keep his game face under control "Don't push me boy."

"Like you could do anything to me."

"Riley." Buffy said warningly. Buffy knew that if Angel really wanted too, he could rip Riley from limb to limb in a matter of seconds. On second thought, maybe that would be a good thing. That way she wouldn't have to deal with this situation.

"Buffy," Angel said keeping his gaze on Riley. "What the hell is going on?"

Buffy took a deep breath. She was caught; there was no way she would be able to get out of it. She had done something wrong, thinking she could get away with it and it finally caught up with her.

"Angel," she said, reaching her hands up to turn his gaze towards her. "This is my fiancée, Riley." Looking down into her lap she said, "Riley, this is Angel, my boyfriend."

Both men just sat and looked at her, neither one knowing what to say. They couldn't believe what Buffy had done that to them. She knowingly cheated on the other one.

"Riley, you're a really great guy. I just... I don't love you. I never really did. I didn't realize this until Angel came back. He left and... and I thought he was dead so I tried to move on and..."

"And what? I was just convenient?"

"Yes. NO! Riley... I've loved Angel since I was sixteen. When he left, a part of me died. He showed up the night you proposed. Since I already accepted your proposal, I didn't know how to tell you that I couldn't go through with it."

"So you slept with him?!"

Buffy looked down at her hands. She felt so guilty. Why hadn't she ended this sooner, before it all came undone? The way things were going, she wasn't even going to have Angel when this was all over with. "I slept with him, yes. I don't know what I can say to make this better or to justify my actions. I was wrong. I should have told you. I shouldn't have slept with him since we were still together."

"And what Buffy, did you just decide to sleep with him and date me, maybe deciding who you want to spend the rest of your life with?!"

"NO! No, that wasn't it at all! I... I tried to break it off with you but... I don't know, I... I guess I just didn't want to hurt you."

"Well, you did a fine job in doing just that."

"Riley.... I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say." Buffy whispered

"Nothing. Don't say anything." And with that, Riley walked out of the room. Buffy starred after his retreating figure. She knew that she now had to face Angel. This was going to be so much harder then her facing Riley. She loved Angel, and she knew that he loved her. But it didn't matter. She had kept a secret from him that she shouldn't have and she saw no way he could trust her after this.

Slowly she turned her body so she was facing him. He had been silent through the whole conversation with Riley. He sat there starring idly at the wall ahead.

"Angel." She said tentatively, reaching her hand out to touch him. Before she did though he jerked away. Getting up from the bed, he moved over to where his clothes laid in a heap on the floor. He hastily put them on.

"Angel don't. Please..."

"Please. Please what Buffy? Stay here with you? Do you need me to comfort you from your horrible break up with your _finance'_?" Zipping up the fly of his pants he looked her dead in the eye. "Don't you dare ask anything of me."

"Angel, let me explain." She said, the first of the tears starting to fall down her face.

"Explain what? That you slept with me while you were engaged? That you cheated on him and kept coming back for more knowing full well what you were doing? That you were engaged and you let me kiss you and make love to you and you didn't even have the nerve to tell me about him? What is there to explain Buffy?"

"Angel, you know that I love you. That I've always loved you."

Angel put on his shirt and then looked down at the ground. "If you really loved me, then you would have told me. What you did was wrong, to me and to Riley." His eyes angled up towards hers. There, Buffy saw all the pain that she had caused him. "I can't be with someone who does that." He whispered to her.

"Angel please..." she was crying full out now. She frantically crawled off the bed to go to him. All he could do though was push her away and start to crawl out the window into the pitch of night.

"Angel. I love you."

In mid climb, he froze. Not turning around his voice carried to her. "No you don't." And then he was gone.


	8. chapter 8

Chapter 8 

Buffy sat and stared into the distance. After Angel had left she had slid down to the floor and cried herself into a state of catatonia. She had been like that ever since. What had she expected? To have Angel hear the whole story on what she had been doing and welcome her back with open arms? She had been fooling herself into thinking just that. His reaction was justified, and she knew it.

A knock sounded at the door, which brought Buffy slowly and reluctantly back to earth. "Come in." she said softly, pulling a blanket off of her bed to cover herself with.

"Buffy?" Willow said walking back into the room. "What happened?" she asked suddenly at her friend's side. Willow had seen Riley about an hour ago and pretty much figured what had happened. But she never expected to see Buffy lying on the floor with just a sheet hung over her to keep her dignity. Things had gone far worse then the young wicca could ever expect.

"Oh Willow!" the girl cried, throwing herself into her best friend's arms. "I've done something horrible!"

__

Angel sat crossed legged on his bed looking down at his hands. It had been three days since he found out about Riley. He hadn't been able to sleep since. He couldn't. His mind was in too much turmoil to even contemplate sleeping.

He didn't understand. He thought that Buffy loved him. He never expected her to be some girl who just had a simple schoolgirl crush. She proved him wrong the other night though.

How could she not tell him that she was engaged? He didn't get it. He had been sitting there for three days trying to understand why she did what she did, but he had yet to come up with an answer.

He got the fact that he had been gone for five years and she needed to move on. She didn't even know if he was alive of not. But, the night he came back, she should have told him. She should have told him before they kissed. God! He would even forgive her if she had told them before they slept together! It wasn't like she didn't have a chance to either. She had plenty.

A tear slid down his cheek at the thought of how he had left her, broken and crying on the floor. All he wanted to do was go and take her into his arms and tell her... _'NO!' _he mentally scolded himself. _ 'She deserves what she has coming to her. After what she did...'_

Angel sighed, it took every ounce of will power to keep him on his bed. To keep him from going back to her, kissing her, telling her that it was okay.

Knock, knock, knock 

Angel's head whipped towards the door. The only person who ever came here was Buffy. Seeing her again would be to much. To face her that soon after what had just happened... The knock sounded again. Hesitantly, Angel got off his bed and moved to the door. When he opened it, his eyes weren't greeted by Buffy though, but her best friend instead.

"Willow." He said softly, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice. No matter how mad he was at her, a part of him still wanted it to be Buffy on the other side of the door.

"Hi." Willow said. Her hands were fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. "I have a favor to ask you."

Angel opened the door wider and motioned for her to come it. Together they sat down on the sofa. "What is it?" he asked calmly

"Did Buffy..." Angel's eyes flickered with pain at the sound of her name. "Did she tell you about that demon that we're hunting?"

"Yeah, she mentioned it."

Willow bit her bottom lip. "We need help. We think we know where the demon is and well, Buffy is the only one who is strong enough to fight it. We think she may need backup though. We were hoping... well... could you maybe..."

Angel looked down at his hands. _'They wanted him to work with her? After what she did to him?' _

"Angel, I know things between you two are bad but... people could die, she could die, if she doesn't have backup... you're the only one in Sunnydale who is strong enough to help her do this."

Angel looked up at Willow. He could tell that she felt sorry for him. At least she knew that this was hard for him. "I thought that there's no way to know who the Reine demon is without it being near death. How is... how am I supposed to know who it is I need to kill?" He said, not being able to utter her name.

"I think I figured out a spell to show us exactly who the demon is."

Angel nodded. He just needed to put his feeling aside for a little while. People's lives were at stake and he wasn't going to let some innocent die because he and his girlfriend... ex girlfriend were having problems. He just had to get this done and over with and then he wouldn't have to see her again. "I'll help."

__

Willow and him steadily made their way to Giles' house. Angel was trying to keep calm, but he didn't know what he would do when he saw her again. It wasn't that he was afraid he'd lash out at her. No, he was afraid that he'd kiss her. More then anything he wanted to take her in his arms and forget everything that happened to them. He had spent the past five years without her and to be away from her for even a couple hours was painful. But he couldn't. If he forgave her for this there's no telling what she would do in the future.

Before Angel knew it, they had reached Giles' house and Willow was opening the door, motioning him to come inside. The moment he entered the house he was assaulted by her smell. He knew exactly where she was without even looking up. In fact, he made it a point not to look at her.

"Angel." Giles voice broke through. "Thank you for coming." Angel gave him a short nod. He didn't trust him self yet to look up at anyone, for he knew the moment he did his eyes would search for hers.

"Umm, why don't you sit down and I can explain what I had in mind for tonight." Angel silently crossed over to the sofa, as far away from her as he could possibly get. "Well, I assume you know what kind of demon we're dealing with." Giles looked at the man before him. He didn't even know he was back until a couple hours ago. He wasn't sure if he trusted him, he was a vampire after all. But right now, Buffy needed back up, and even though Giles' hated to admit it, Angel was the only one who could help her.

Giles couldn't help feeling sorry for him though. Before he had left Giles had had his concerns about him and Buffy. A slayer dating the one thing that she was destined to kill was practically unheard of. But he kept his mouth closed because he knew their feelings for each other ran deeper then just typical high school love. When ever he looked into Angels eyes he could practically feel the overwhelming adoration he felt for Buffy. But now, now those eyes were filled with pain.

Willow had briefly told him what had happened between the two. Now the watcher was torn between which one he should feel sorry for. Buffy was obviously in the wrong for cheating on Riley, but at the same time, he understood why she did it. Buffy had a kind heart, despite her nightly blood lust, and he knew that his slayer would do anything before she saw another's get broken. He was sympathetic towards offering any support that she might need. But now that Angel was here he wondered if his support should go to him instead. The waves of grief that were rolling off the vampire were nearly palpable

"Yeah, I know what it is." Angel whispered

"Good. The last couple of days there have been several reports of deaths, murders actually." Giles stepped up to Angel and handed him a handful of newspaper clippings. "A young girl was found over by a coffee shop. Three teenagers over by a sporting good store, and one woman over by a department store."

"The mall." Angel stated gently

"Exactly. All of these murders have been either inside the mall or right by it. So, the demon has to be living inside the mall or somewhere close by. He's making his escape too easily, even when the police are there only minutes later."

Angel nodded his head in agreement. "What's the plan?"

"You, Buffy and Willow head over to the mall. There's a back room where Willow can set up for her ritual. She can do a simple locater spell to track the demon for you and Buffy to find. Once that's done, all Willow has to do is perform a ritual and the demon should take its true form. I must warn you though, the demon will be much harder to kill when it transforms. You two must be careful."

"When?"

Giles sighed. "Now would be best."

Angel nodded once. "'K, lets go."


	9. chapter 9

Chapter 9

The drive to the mall was silent. Willow sat up front with Angel looking through her spell book, trying to distract herself from the tension that surrounded them. Angel had yet to even look at Buffy, not that Buffy was making much of an effort to look at him either though.

"How long will it take you to do the spell?" Angel asked upon arriving at their destination.

"Five minutes at tops. You're going to have to get to the demon quick. It'll probably start killing people on sight when it turns."

The three of them walked to the storage room for Willow to set up. Quickly she did a locater spell indicating that the demon was in the food court. Biting her lip Willow wished the two of them good luck as they went off into that direction. Alone.

The mall was strangely empty, being a Friday night and all. It was pretty close to closing hours though so most of the people left were the teenagers who didn't know about Sunnydales' more interesting side of town.

The food court had few people milling around. There was a group of kids at one side of the court and a few late shoppers sitting down to have a quick dinner before heading home. The demon wouldn't be to hard to find in here once the spell took effect. 'Just follow the screams' Angel thought.

Next to him Buffy took a deep breath. Biting her lip she slowly turned to him. "So..."

"Don't even try." Angel cut her off abruptly. He didn't want to talk, he just wanted to get this done and over with so he could go home and brood.

"What?" she looked at him with wide eyes thinking how she had never seen him this angry before.

"I don't want to hear about how you're sorry and all that other bull shit. All I want to do is fight this demon, kill it, and go home."

"Angel, we need..."

"We don't _need_ to do anything." He shook his head "I should have never come back."

Buffy looked at him in shock. He was actually regretting coming home because of this whole thing?

"Fine." She said. "Stand there and mope and think that the worlds' done you wrong instead of trying to talk this out. Run away from the problem again Angel, you seem to be so good at that."

Angel spun around to look at her. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that every time things get tough you run away instead of dealing with it!"

"When have I ever run away from something?"

"My seventeenth birthday!"

"Buffy, I had to go hide a stupid arm in a box so the world wouldn't end! How the hell is that running away!"

"That was just an excuse!"

"Excuse!" he looked at her incredibly

"Yes an excuse! Our relationship was just starting to get serious and so you jumped at the chance to leave! You never were really invested in this whole us thing." Buffy knew she was grasping at straws here, but she wanted to hurt him just a fraction of what he did to her. When he left her lying on the bedroom floor the other night she wanted to die. The feelings that came over her that night clawed at her chest causing her heart to almost burst with the pain that she was feeling.

"If you think that's what happened then you're an idiot! I didn't want to leave and you know that! I wanted to stay with you and be with you forever, but no. And don't you dare tell me that I wasn't invested in this relationship. How long did it take you until you chucked your ring?"

Buffy looked down at her hand, her silver claddagh ring didn't sit there anymore. It hadn't since the night he came back. "I had to move on Angel, I thought you were dead. Okay? Five years went by and I didn't even get a single letter from you. How hard would it have been for you to at least pick up the damn phone once in a while?"

"I wanted to, every minute. God Buffy, I could barely go two seconds without thinking of you. Wondering if when I came back you'd be dead because I wasn't there to protect you. Instead I come back to find out that your engaged to be married!"

"What? Did you expect me to sit around and wait for you? It's been five years Angel! You left and I thought that you were never coming back. So yeah, I moved on. And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you what was going on! I screwed up! I know that! But I've been with Riley for three years now and I'm sorry that I wasn't so heartless that I broke up with him the moment you showed up! How am I supposed to know that you'll stick around this time? Huh? How am I supposed to know that you won't think that this relationship is going no where and you'll just leave! If you haven't noticed, we're not exactly the definition of a normal couple. And knowing you, sooner or later that would catch up to you!" Buffy took a deep breath to compose herself. "I was scared. Riley was, I guess my backup in case you didn't want me." Angel was about to retaliate when she held up her hand. "I'm not saying that that justifies my actions. All I'm saying is that I'm sorry, and I don't want to lose you again."

Angel looked at her. He wasn't sure if he was capable of anything else. He was angry at her, but he too, didn't want to lose her. Not again. How was he supposed to forgive her for this though? "After this is over..." he never got to finish his sentence, because the air was suddenly filled with a high pitch scream.

Without saying a word, Buffy and Angel ran towards the noise. Willows spell had obviously worked because standing in front of the Taco Bell was the Reine demon. It was over seven feet tall minus the horns. Its eyes glowed black with specks of red. Angel looked it up and down once, and was immediately knocked back by the smell. The demons rotting flesh hung off of its bones and gave off a putrid stench nearly gagging him.

"Shit." Buffy muttered "This is so not good."

The demon held a young girl around Buffy's age in one of its decaying hands. Angel turned to Buffy. "Ready?"

"No." And with that the two warriors went head first into battle.

__

Giles wasn't exaggeration when he said that the demon would be stronger in its true form. Usually it would have taken Buffy and Angel ten minutes tops to take out something like this. Sure they would both walk away with a good amount of cuts and bruises, maybe a few broken ribs, but nothing life threatening. The battle was going on fifteen minutes now and the end was no where in sight.

Angel knew that he had already cracked several of his ribs. He could taste his own blood in his mouth and knew that tomorrow, he'd defiantly be sore if he wasn't already dead. Retrieving his battle ax from the ground he swung it at the demons mid section. It connected but didn't seem to do much of anything besides hacking of some more of its flesh.

Pulling back Angel tried a different tactic. Taking his ax he ran full force at the demon, yelling at the top of his lungs. He succeeded in launching himself at the flesh rotting corpse and hitting it in the chest. All it did though was piss it off even more then it already was, and Angel found him self flung across the room with his battle ax firmly embedded in the demons upper chest.

Sparing a glance at Buffy he looked over, hoping she was fairing better then he was. She was favoring her left leg more then he would have liked and she had a gash across her forehead. Taking her sword she impaled the demon through the chest where the heart should have been. For a minute Angel thought that they had won. As an ear splitting scream penetrated the night air Angel actual felt a surge of hope that the demon was finally defeated. But the moment the sword was pulled out, the scream stopped, and the demon made its way towards Buffy. With no weapon Angel still tried to get up and help her, but Willow pulled him aside the last minute.

"Willow, what the... let me go."

"No, listen to me."

"Willow..."

"Angel listen. The only way you can kill this demon is to have the sword stay embedded into its heart..."

"Why the hell didn't you tell us this before?"

"We didn't know! We thought this was a Reine demon but Giles just called and said that our calculations were wrong. This is a hybrid of a Reine demon. Apparently a Reine demon and an Ethros demon..."

"Willow. Not now."

"Sorry. You need to take the sword and make sure it comes in contact with the heart."

"We tried that Will, you saw it. That thing just pulls it out the second it goes in."

"I know, I know. Giles and the gang are in the back room right now setting up a spell. Distract it for about two or so minutes and then impale it. By that time we'll have enchanted the sword to stay inside the demons chest. I think."

"YOU THINK!"

"Well we're not one hundred percent sure about it. I mean none of us have ever really tried this spell before and..."

"Okay, just do the spell. I'll stall it as long as I can. Go!"

Willow ran off. Turning towards the demon and Buffy, Angel screamed.

"BUFFY!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Buffy's eyes grew wide in horror as the cool metal of the sword slid into her. Somewhere someone was screaming her name but all she could hear was the blood rushing to her ears. The demon looked her straight in the eye. She had done the same thing on countless occasions. Hell, every time she killed a vampire she made a point to look into their eyes to make sure she was the last thing they say before they were sent to there grave. And now, the demon was doing the same to her.

Abruptly the sword got yanked out of her. That's when the pain started. It shot through her body like needles caressing her skin and then going in for the kill. Her body sunk to the ground slowly. As the spasms continued to overtake her, she came to the realization that she was going to die. That she was going to die without her mother knowing how much she loved her, or without Giles and her friends knowing how much they meant to her. She would probably be dead by now if it wasn't for them. And then there was Angel.... there were so many things she wanted to tell him. She couldn't die without him knowing that she was truly sorry for what she did and that she loved him no matter what. No, she couldn't die like this, not now. She was too young to die. She had so many things to live for, so many things that she had yet to do, yet to say.

All thoughts soon raced out of her mind though as a fresh wave of pain raced over her.

__

Angel stood rooted to his spot unable to move. There before him Buffy and the ReineEthros... whatever the hell it was, were fighting. The demon seemed to have the upper hand. Somehow it had gotten a hold of Buffy's sword leaving her defenseless... well, as defenseless as a slayer could be.

He knew what was coming before it even happened. Playing out in slow motion in Angel's mind the demon lunged towards Buffy's mid section, impaling her with the sword. She did nothing but look right back at him.

"BUFFY!" he shouted as loud as he could. The demon heard his anguish cry and turned to him with a smile playing across his face, all the while slowly pulling the metal sword out of his lovers gut.

That was it; Angel could stand there no longer. With an inhuman cry Angel ran towards the demon with full force. Kicking him in the stomach the demon went flying. It hit the wall at the far end of the court. Angel ran after him throwing all his strength and fear into his hits. The demon laughed.

"You think you can beat me? You're a mere mortal." Angel hit him again and slipped into his game face. His fangs gleaming at the demon.

"Mortal huh?"

The demons smile slipped some and now you could see the fear behind his eyes. "Angelus." It whispered.

Angel faltered. This demon knew him?

The time it took for Angel to process that the demon didn't actually know him, just probably heard of him, the thing had already flung him off of him and was now standing above Angel, the sword held at his neck.

"So this is the almighty Angelus. The Scourge of Europe. You don't look all that great to me." The demon drawled at him. "So what could have possibly happened to you to make you this low? OH!" The demon said in mock surprise "You were cursed with a soul!" He laughed manically.

"So you've heard of me?" Angel said through gritted teeth. The sword was much to close to his neck for his comfort. One quick motion of that sword, and it would all end.

"And that over there..." he went on, pointing towards Buffy, "Must be your lady love. The girl that brought you out into this world again to kill us, to betray your kind." He leaned down so he was right in Angel's face, the sword drawing a thin line into his neck now, making his blood run crimson down his collar bone. "What are people going to say when they find out that I've conquered where they've failed? What are they going to say when I tell them that I've killed the infamous Angelus and his whore of a slayer?"

"You won't get to find out." Angel stated looking up into the cold and deadly eyes of his attacker.

"Ha!" It barked out. "You really think that you're going to defeat me? Look what position you're in. I can cut off your worthless head any time I want while your slayer over there is bleeding to death! How, pray tell, are you going to get out of this one?"

"Like this" Bracing himself for death, Angel bucked his body upward throwing the demon off of him, the sword glancing off of his neck and nicking his shoulder. Ignoring the searing pain he grabbed the sword stained with his own blood and shoved it towards the demons heart.

"That's the problem with all you demons. You all talk too much. If you would just kill us the second you had the chance instead of sitting around and chatting away, you guys would be so much more successful." Angel put all of his weight onto the hilt of the sword and shoved through the demons thick chest, piercing his black heart.

The demon started to scream in pain. His meat like hands going towards the offending sword.

"Come on Willow." Angel whispered. It was to avail though. The demon soon took the butt of the sword and easily slid it out of its thick hide.

Laughing manically it started to swing the sword around like a lasso. "You see! You can't kill me. I'm immortal!"

"ANGEL NOW!" Turning around he saw Willow, Giles and Tara all suspended in mid air. They sat in a circle holding hands chanting something. It was then that Angel realized that they were just a projection of them selves. An apparition floating in mid air.

Realizing this to late, the demon had taken the opportunity and shoved the sword through the middle of Angel's back causing him to arch away from it. Looking down, Angel saw the pointy end of the sword sticking through his chest. The demon slowly walked around to face him. "That's it then, isn't it?" It smiled gleefully.

Dropping to his knees, he looked over at Buffy for what he thought would be the last time. She lay there with her blood pooling around her, clutching her midsection. Her eyes were screwed shut trying to block out all the pain. He could hear her heartbeat slowing already.

"No," Angel whispered

"What?" the demon laughed. "You couldn't possibly think that you can still win? Ha! You really don't give up do you?"

Angel raised his eyes to look death in the face. With inhuman strength he grasped the sword and pulled it from his body. Lunging as quick at he could he thrust it into the demons chest just enough so the point was touching the heart.

"No, I don't." and with that he ran the sword home and watched as the Reine demon fell to the ground in agony. This time the sword, staying firmly in place.

__

Angel stood taking in deep unnecessary breaths. His hand was clutching his midsection where the sword had penetrated him. It didn't matter though. Turning he ran as fast as he could to where Buffy lay.

"Buffy?" He picked her up so her head rested in his lap. "Buffy open your eyes, please." He said, trying to wipe away the blood from her beautiful face. All it did though was create more of a mess, whipping the gore from his hands onto her. "Buffy please..." Slowly her eyes peeled open.

"Angel?" She rasped out uncertainly. Her vision was swimming and she wasn't sure if she was hallucinating or not.

"Yeah," There was nothing but love in his voice.

She frowned at him. Her hand gingerly came up to rest on his stomach, making him wince as it came in contact. "You're hurt." She chided

"I'm fine. I..." he was interrupted when her body surrendered to a coughing fit. He sat there and gently rocked her until she calmed down. "We need to get you to a hospital."

"No." her eyes grew in horror.

"Buffy..."

"No." she stated again, shacking her head back and forth. "I'm not going to a..." she started coughing again.

"Shh... don't talk. Shh..."

"Oh my God!" Angel heard Willows voice from behind him

"Xander, call 911." Giles voice came from beside him. "Angel, let me look at her." Angel went to move away when Giles noticed that he to was hurt. Immediately Giles moved to take a look at him.

"No, help her." Angel barely got out.

Giles moved over to his slayer. She had a gash in her stomach and a couple minor cuts and bruises. He could tell that she had already lost a lot of blood. Her eyes were starting to glaze over.

"Buffy!" Angel called as he saw what was happening. "Buffy no!"

Her eyes snapped back to focus. "Angel.... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Buffy shh..." he said trying to calm her down.

"Please, you... you h-have to believe me."

"Buffy don't..." Angel said, caressing her cheek. "There's time for that later."

"No..."

"Buffy please..." Tears were freely running down his face now

"I love you. I'm sorry." She whispered, closing her eyes.

"Buffy." There was no answer

"Buffy." Angel tried, shaking her a little bit. Still no answer came. It was silent, the sound of her heartbeat was no longer filling the air.

"Buffy no!" he cried "No, no, no, nononononono...." Giles moved over to the vampire rocking his dead lover back and fourth.

"Angel." he said gently. "Angel, we have to get you cleaned up..." he put a hand on his shoulder.

Angel's sobs racked his body. How could she die like this? How could she die thinking that he didn't love her, that he hated her? She was so young and innocent; she didn't deserve this, not now. "Please, come back, please..." he begged her still body. "I can't do this without you... I love you."

With that the vampire bowed his head onto his lover's body and cried in anguish. In the distance, the sirens roared.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"Angel"

"Angel!" Giles shook the vampires shoulder and knocked him out of his daze. "Angel, let me take you home. You're hurt. You need to get cleaned up."

The vampire sat and looked at the watcher like he was insane. "I'm not leaving her."

"Angel, Buffy's in surgery right now. The doctors said it would be a few hours before we knew anything. Let's get you home so you can rest and as soon as we hear something, I'll drive you back here."

Angel stubbornly shook his head. "No. I can't..." he screwed his eyes shut as a wave of pain came over him.

Giles looked at him with pity. They had been in the Sunnydale emergency room for hours now. Angel had refused any help from the doctors around them, yelling at them to go help Buffy and not worry about him. They finally gave up. Now, he just sat in one of those orange plastic chairs, his arms crossed protectively around his chest, starring off into the distance. In the beginning Giles tried to keep him talking, fearing that he'd go into shock, but it was to no avail. The vampire just sat there lost in thought, covered in his own blood.

Giles had already noticed that he had stopped is customary breathing habits. Figuring it probably hurt too much to breathe, he let it drop. The nurses kept coming in to check on him. Everyone one in the hospital was amazed at their story. They all obviously saw that he cared for the young girl they brought in very much. But they also noticed that he seemed to be in worse shape then her. His shirt was soaked through from the large hole in his stomach, he had several bruises and cuts on his body, and for the past hour he had been coughing up blood. Despite all this though, no one could get near him.

"Angel," Giles coxed "you need to get home so we can take care of your wounds." Giles was surprised he hadn't passed out already.

"Giles," Angel whispered brokenly "I can't lose her."

"And you're not going to. You won't hurt her if you leave for a few hours."

"But what if she wakes up and I'm not there... or what if she...."

"Do you really think Buffy would want you to suffer like this? In her last lucid minutes, all she could think about was you."

Angel finally looked into the watchers eyes. "I'm not leaving."

Giles sighed. There was no way they were going to be able to get him out of here. Not while he was still conscious at least.

Angel sat there lost in thought. She couldn't die. The things he had said to her... he made her believe that he regretted coming back to her, when in fact, if he had the choice, he would do it all over again, just so he could be with her one last time. _"No!'_ he thought, _'there'll be plenty of other times. She'll make it through this'_

Every nerve in Angel's body felt like it was on fire. He couldn't even move without wincing in pain. At some point during the fight he must have punctured one of his lungs because he could feel the blood bubbling up into his mouth. If Buffy could see him now she would definitely kill him for not going home. But how could he when the love of his life lay in the other room dying? She thought that he didn't love her; she was going to die thinking that he didn't care for her at all. He couldn't let that happen.

Slowly Angel stood up. He felt the room spin around him but he knew that he had to fight through this pain. He had to do something. Clutching his side he walked out of the hospital ignoring the calls of his friends behind him.

The sky was weeping when he went outside. The heavens seemed to know what was happening to there strongest warrior. Limping along the sidewalk all Angel could think about was how much of Buffy's life was spent in pain. Every night she would go out and be forced to kill demon after demon putting her life on the line, never being able to tell anyone who she really was. She had to lead a double life, and she never got a single thanks from the outside world for doing what she did. If... when she woke up, Angel would make sure that no matter what happened, she'd never be alone like that again. Every day for the rest of his life, he would spend helping her wage the war between good and evil, even if it killed him in the end.

Rounding the corner Angel came to an old broken down warehouse. Stumbling inside he looked around searching out for something. He didn't know what though. While waiting in that room something had just come over him. He knew he had to do something to help Buffy but for the life of him he couldn't figure out what. When he stood up to leave he didn't have the faintest idea of where he was going, he just let his feet take him to his final destination.

"Hello?" He whispered to the dusty room.

"Hello." Angel turned around trying to find the voice. A girl, no more then ten, hid somewhere in the dank shadows, making sure not to show even a silhouette of her form. Something about this girl's voice though was familiar.

"Where are you?" Angel peered into the shadows of the warehouse but he couldn't find where this voice was coming from.

"All around you." The voice answered.

"Show yourself."

"That is not really the issue we need to be discussing vampire. You came here for a different reason then to see my face."

A wave of nausea came over Angel. He tried to focus on the voice and not on passing out. "I did."

"Then I suggest you get on with it and stop wasting my time."

"My friend, she's lying in a hospital dying. The doctors are trying everything they can think of to save her, but... I don't think she's going to make it." Clutching his stomach he spit some of his own blood on the ground. The viscous fluid was filling his mouth much to rapidly.

"The person you speak of is the slayer." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes." He answered, even though he knew it was rhetorical.

"Do you love her?"

"I love her more then anything in this world."

"And you will have her live just because you love her?"

"She doesn't deserve to die. She's too young."

"What if she wants to die? What if she's been waiting for a fight where a demon would best her? How do you know she even wants to live in this world anymore? She is a slayer after all and all slayers lives are hard. Most of them welcome the darkness."

Angel's brow knitted in confusion as he noticed how the girl's voice was one of a sweet lilting Irish tongue. Pushing this information aside he quickly shook his head, trying to clear it enough to focus on the subject at hand. "No, Buffy's not like that!" Angel cried out. "She's full of light. She would never want to just give up on life like that."

"How do you know vampire?"

"Because..." He trailed off.

"Because what? You haven't even seen this girl in five years. You don't know what her life has been like, the pain that she has gone through. If you ask me, you're being selfish. You want her to live for you, not for herself."

Angel dropped to the floor; the pain was almost becoming unbearable now. "No. I... She has to live. I need her. She needs me. Please you have to save her."

There was a long silence; Angel was starting to think that the voice had left him to die on the cold hard floor when it came back to him more quietly then before. "I can't."

"Why?" He looked around, still searching for the body that belonged to the voice.

"Because she doesn't want to come back."

"You don't know that!"

"I do though."

Angel got to his feet shakily and yelled into the darkness. "I don't believe you! Buffy would never say that. She loves her life and the people who are in it!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Now fix her!"

"I cannot fix somebody who has no will left to live!"

"Don't feed me that bullshit!"

"Fine. I didn't want to do this but I see no other choice. See for yourself vampire that my words ring true."

In a flash of light Buffy stood before him. Clad in a long white flowing gown Angel couldn't help but thnk that she was more beautiful then ever. Walking over to him she smiled, placing her hand on his cheek. It was cold to the touch.

"Buffy." He whispered brokenly. Small shivers ran up and down his spine, he couldn't even remember the last time he had felt this cold.

"Shh... It's okay Angel. Everything is going to be okay."

"I don't want you to die."

Buffy caught the tear that slid down his cheek with the edge of her thumb. "It doesn't matter Angel. I'm going to. I want to."

He pulled away from her. "No."

"Yes." She said quietly, taking his hand in hers. "This world is to harsh Angel. It's too cold. I don't want to live in it anymore."

"But what about you friends? What are we supposed to do without you?"

"Live. You all knew that sooner or later I was going to die. All slayers come with an expiration date. Today is mine."

"No. I don't accept that. I'm not going to let you die Buffy. You don't know what you're talking about. You're just confused right now. Don't do this. You don't want to die, not yet."

"Yes I do baby. I've wanted to ever since you left me."

Tears were clouding his vision. She was standing here, right here in front of him, telling him that he was the reason that she wanted to die. Because he left her, she no longer wanted to go on in life. "But, I'm back, I'm right here. I'll never leave you again Buffy, I swear."

"That's not enough. Please Angel, just let go." She squeezed his hand tighter.

Angel felt like he was going to throw up. The world was still spinning, and now his love was telling him she wanted to die. "Buffy, I love you."

She smiled sweetly. "Sometimes that's not enough." Looking up at the ceiling she smiled. "I have to go now Angel."

"Buffy no..."

Buffy pressed a finger to his lip to quiet him. "You can't stop this Angel. I'm leaving." She leaned in and kissed him sweetly on the lips, running her fingers through his hair.

Tears ran down Angels face as her lips met his. Desperately he tried to remember the feel of it all. The way she gave those soft breathy sighs as he entered her mouth. Or the curve and the feel of her soft sweet lips on his as they shared the heart breaking kiss. Feeling her pull back he opened his eyes wanting to remember her face along with everything else. But she was already gone.

_Authors Note: Please reveiw and let me know if I should continue this story. Also, if you have any suggestions on how to make it better go ahead and tell me. Thank you_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

Angel dropped down to his knees when her gaze no longer looked upon him. Tears were no longer coursing down his cheeks; he had none left to shed even if he wanted to. Gazing down at the ground he found the imprint of where his feet had been as he had stood before her. But hers, they weren't there. It was as if she had never really even been here at all. If it wasn't for the taste and feel of her, still fresh on his lips, he wouldn't have believed any of it, just chalking it up to a dying mans hallucinations.

"I'm sorry for your grief. I had tried to warn you but you didn't listen." The voice came from a distance.

Angel didn't even have the strength to answer her. Buffy was gone, taken from him once again by forces out of their control. No longer would she grace his life, giving him the hope of redemption. The only thing that would be left of her would be her body, buried six feet under the cold soil.

"Now it's your turn vampire. You have a choice here. You may either try failingly to get her back or spend the rest of your eternal damnation here on this earth, helping her friends finish the fight that she left behind."

Silence followed her ultimatum. He didn't know what he wanted. More then anything he would love to be in Buffy's arms for the rest of eternity, but deep down, he knew that it was wrong. He needed to spend the rest of his life fighting the good fight. It was his penance. Slowly it would eat away at his conscience if he chose to try and be with his love.

"You must choose." The voice had become softer as the night wore on. Was it possible that the body behind the cool hard voice felt some semblance of sympathy for a creature like him? "I know this must be hard for you, but there isn't much time. If you are going to choose, do it now. For if you don't, the consequences shall be dire."

A soft hand brushed over his forehead causing him to look up. About to answer his question, his words got lost as he looked into deep brown eyes. Eyes like his. Long dark hair fell over the young girls shoulders ending at her waist. A simple cotton dress fell off her small form, giving her the air of innocence and beauty when you looked at her.

"Kathy?" he crocked out. Not quite believing just yet that this creature before him could be his baby sister that he lost so long ago.

Kneeling down in front of him, the little girl smiled at his confusion. "I wasn't sure you'd recognize me. It's been so long." Gone was the cold arguing voice that had told him of Buffy's will to die, replacing in was the gentle sweet song that always came from a sister's love.

Angel stared at her long and hard, looking for any source of evidence that she wasn't his Kathy. But she looked exactly the same as she had the moment she died. The sad expression still swam deeply in her eyes even though she smiled brightly for him. "You're dead."

"So are you." She retaliated. Pressing her hand a little bit more into the top of his head she frowned. "You're running a fever."

"Kathy please, you have to help me. I have to get Buffy back." He said, brushing her hands away.

"Liam, I can't."

"You have too!"

"You don't understand, this isn't up to me. I don't control who dies and who lives. It was Buffy's choice to leave and you have to accept that."

He glared at his sister with murder in his eyes. "And if I don't?"

Kathy stood and took a step back, still feeling a little uncomfortable around him even though she knew of all the good he had done once he got his soul back. "Then you'll suffer the consequences."

"Which are?"

"Liam..."

"TELL ME!"

She sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "It's your choice on weather or not you accept her passing, but if you interfere and try to bring her back, you'll suffer at the hands of the guardians. They're people who stand outside the gates of heaven, making sure no one can be pulled away from them, anyone who tries to get back the one they love is immediately sent to the depths of hell."

"I don't care. I'm getting her back."

"Even if it means eternal suffering for you?"

"Yes." He said without hesitation.

"Liam, you'll save her life yes, but you'll die. You'll leave this earth forever and never be able to go to heaven. You'll be banished from that aspect."

"If it means Buffy gets to see the light one more day, then I don't care."

"She told you that she didn't want to live."

"That wasn't Buffy. Buffy would want to stay on this earth, to be with her friends. I don't know what the hell that thing was but it wasn't her!"

Kathy smiled and bent down to kiss her brothers cheek. "You win."

"What?"

She helped him up into a standing position. "The powers wanted to make sure that you actually loved her before giving her back. By not giving up, by being the stubborn person I know you are, you've just won your love back. You've proved to them that you would do anything for her, that you'd die for her, which is exactly what they wanted to hear. The upcoming years are going to be hard Angel, and the Powers that Be are only going to give her back to you on one condition. You can't leave her, if you do, she'll die, and that is not something that this world needs right now."

"I'll never leave her. I love her."

A funny smile spread across her face. "Father was wrong when he said you'd never find true love. Although, it did take you over two hundred years to get it." She said giving her brothers hand a squeeze. "Now go, she'll be waking up soon."

Angel grinned and nearly raced out of the warehouse. When he got to the door though he stopped. Looking back at his sister she gave him a sad smile. "What about you?"

"What about me?" she said in false cheer. "I'm going back."

"To heaven?" He said with hope.

"To heaven."

Walking towards her slowly so many questions raced through his head of things that he wanted, needed to ask her. But when he reached her not one came out.

"You'll find everything out sooner or later, just give it time." She said, reading his mind once again.

"Is... is mother and father... are they...?"

"They're with me. We're all together watching over you."

Bending down he captured her in a fierce hug letting the tears spill over for the crimes he had committed against her. "I'm so sorry."

She reached around him and held him back. "It wasn't you Liam. It was the demon. I know that now. We're all so proud of you." She said trying to soothe her brother's sobs as she too felt the wetness on her cheeks.

"I miss you so much." His pulled away from her and wiped away her tears lovingly. "I have always love you. You hear me? No matter what has happened or what will happen, I have always loved you."

"I love you too." She said giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "We'll be waiting for you." And in a blink of the eye, she was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13**_

"Angel!" Giles exclaimed as Angel came rushing back into the hospital. "Where did you go?"

"I had to take care of some things. Is she okay?"

Giles looked at him strangely. "She's fine." Relief flooded Angels face. "The doctors say it's a miracle. They've never seen anybody pull through something like this before."

Angel couldn't help but smile. "Can I see her?"

Giles looked at him, scrutinizing the way Angel was acting. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

He nodded once. "She's in room 314. They have her on morphine so she might be a little groggy still, but she's Buffy."

Without a moments hesitation Angel ran down the hall towards the designated room. But when he got there he stopped. He didn't know what he would see. Kathy had said that she would be okay, but still... worry still flooded his system.

Opening the door his dead heart broke. She looked so fragile in the big hospital bed under the bleach white sheets. Tubs of IV flowed in each of her delicate arms. She was hooked up to several big machines that filled the room with beeping and whirring sounds. Over it all though he could faintly hear her slow heartbeat struggling to keep going.

With slow steady steps he walked over to her. Sliding down into a small chair he took her hand. It was cold and clammy to the touch, slightly shaky from the drugs that they had pumped into her system to help her body fight against the impending death.

A small smile graced over her lips as she felt the contact of his hand. "Hi." She said hoarsely. Her throat felt raw and sore from the intubations tube she had had down it just mere minutes ago.

He swallowed harshly. "Hi." She turned to face him, causing him to nearly cry out as he saw the breathing tube she had in her nose and how pale she was. The color of her face almost matched the sheets surrounding her. "How are you feeling?" He asked with slight hesitancy.

"Like I got hit by a bus and then it decided to back up over me again." She said, trying to make light of the situation at hand.

Tears filled his eyes as he looked down at there hands. "That's not funny."

"Hey," she said gently, a frown marring her features. "I was joking. I'm fine." With her free hand she reached up and caressed his face. He had been through a lot tonight, she knew that, leaving him physically and emotionally drained.

He tightened his grip on her small hand, thanking anyone that would listen that she was back. "I almost lost you."

"You did," his eyes snapped up. "For a minute at least."

"What?" Was this another joke? The way she talked... it was as if it didn't even matter.

"I died." She said in a normal voice, not seeming upset by any of this. "It was like I was still here though. I saw you in the waiting room while I was in surgery, I saw Giles try and get you to go home. Which you should have by the way, you're in worse shape then I am." She tried to scold him, but failed as she remembered that she wouldn't have been here without him.

"I saw you rush out after that, and of course I had to follow you." She said with a smile, he was just starring at her in shock though, not knowing what exactly to think. "I saw you beg for my life. Saw that thing posing as me come and break your heart." Bitterness marred her voice, she had wanted to scream and shout when she saw that thing kiss him, telling him that she wanted to die. In truth it was the exact opposite. More then anything she wanted to come back, to be with Angel.

Taking a deep breath, she calmed her voice and thoughts for the next part "And I saw your sister." She added quietly, glancing away from him for a moment. He had never once spoke about his family except for the brief moments when she found out he was a vampire. Watching him see his baby sister again after all these years nearly broke her heart.

"She's beautiful Angel. She looks just like you."

An awkward silence filled the room. Angel wasn't sure how he felt about her seeing him in his moment of weakness. He was supposed to be the strong one. The one who held everything together. But tonight he broke. For some odd reason though that didn't seem to matter in Buffy's eyes. None of it did. She was still looking at him with that deep love in that had always come with her glances.

Leaning down he kissed her fingers that were intertwined with his. "I love you." He had wanted to tell her this so badly. He didn't want to spend another minute without her knowing that simple truth. He loved, and he would always love her "I am so sorry that I left that night. I never wanted to hurt you Buffy. God I'm so sorry." He breathed, tears once again filling his eyes.

"No. Angel you have nothing to be sorry for. None of this was your fault. It was mine. If I hadn't of hid Riley from you then none of this would have happened." She paused scrunching her brow in confusion. A drifty haze was coming over her as the morphine started to take more and more effect on her system. Thus causing her to get confused easier. "Well... maybe it would but at least we wouldn't have been upset at each other."

She sat up weakly and tugged him until he complied, and lay down next to her in the bed. Resting her now tired head on his chest she continued. "I love you so much. You have to understand that I never wanted to hurt you." Tears pinpricked her eyes, and she didn't care. Letting them fall down and soak Angel's shirt, showing her remorse over the situation at hand, she nearly sobbed out the rest of her story. "More then anything I wanted to be with you. I know I screwed up when I didn't break up with Riley, or even tell you what was going on. I'm so sorry Angel."

Wrapping his arms around her waist he tugged her tightly to his chest. "Shh... It doesn't matter anymore. What's done is done. All that matters is that you're here now."

"So you're not mad?" she sniffled, her words muffled a little by his now damp shirt.

"Buffy, I almost lost you tonight. I don't know what I would have done if I did. I remember holding you and feeling your heartbeat slow, and knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. I didn't want you to go without knowing that I loved you. God, you mean the world to me. The only thing that kept me going all those years apart from you was the picture of your face, your smile. I just knew that everything would be okay again if I could just get back here. If I could just feel your arms around me one more time."

Sitting up a little she looked him straight in the eye. Her tear blotched face shinning all the love she'd ever felt for him. "Good, because I'm not allowing you to leave again. Not without me."

He laughed slightly. Suddenly all seemed right in the world. Every little bit that had been out of place before had all come home safely, and back into their arms. Turning slightly he leaned down to touch her lips with his. The kiss was soft and slow, as they poured all their love and trust deeply into that one single kiss. Letting the other one know that forever was a possibility, that it wasn't some hopeless romantics dream. The road to it would be paved with grief and sorrow, but no matter what, they would get there in the end.

The End

Authors Note: That's it. I hope you guys enjoyed the story. I've been working on it long enough, and today I finally decided how I wanted to end it. You're all lucky I was in a good mood today because originally I was going to kill Angel in trade for Buffy's life. I still might. Just not right now. LOL


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